All notices · test notice
Change in enrollment status
Department of Veterans Affairs · source: GSA plainlanguage.gov archive, _pages/examples/notices/change-in-enrollment-status.md (already plain; shown there only as the improved version) · 26 critical facts of 29
Placeholders in the agency's template were filled with made-up values; see the notice's source file in the repo.
Rewrites
Haiku, grade 6: 23 of 26 critical facts kept · grade 4.7
What the judge found lost or changed
- changed The letter is about a change in the reader's enrollment during the period that began on September 1, 1996.
The letter: “This letter is about the change in your enrollment during the period that began on September 1, 1996.” · The rewrite: “This letter is about a change in your classes from September 1, 1996 on.” - changed VA's records show the reader reduced their credit hours from 12 to 6 on November 5, 1996.
The letter: “You reduced your credit hours from 12 hours to 6 hours on November 5, 1996.” · The rewrite: “On November 5, 1996, you went from taking 12 credit hours to taking 6 credit hours.” - changed This applies only if the reader shows a good reason why they could not meet the one-year limit.
The letter: “if you show a good reason why you could not meet it” · The rewrite: “We may allow more time if you have a good reason why you could not send it in on time.”
The rewrite
Dear Mr. Okafor:
This letter is about a change in your classes from September 1, 1996 on. Because of this change, we may have paid you more money than you should have gotten.
### What Our Records Show
On November 5, 1996, you went from taking 12 credit hours to taking 6 credit hours.
### What We Did
On December 1, 1996, we lowered your payments to $202.00 a month. You will get another letter about this change. That letter will tell you if you owe us money.
### What We Need From You
Please send us a written statement that explains why you cut your credit hours from 12 to 6. In most cases, we need proof to back up your statement. This means papers or other records that show your reason. If you do not have any proof, please tell us why. (Look at the enclosed paper called "Changes in Your Enrollment" for more information.)
### When We Need It
Send us your statement and any proof within 30 days.
### What Will Happen Next
**If we accept your statement,** we will not lower your payments back to the start of the term. If you already owe us money, you must pay it back, but the amount will not go up.
**If we do not accept your statement and proof,** we will lower your payments starting September 1, 1996, the first day of the term. This means you will owe us money that you must pay back.
**If we do not hear from you within 30 days,** we will lower your payments starting September 1, 1996, the first day of the term. This means you will owe us money that you must pay back. Even so, we will still look at any information you send us within one year from the date of this letter. We may allow more time if you have a good reason why you could not send it in on time.
### Your Rights
You have basic rights before we make a final decision about your claim. Look at the enclosed paper called "Basic Rights" to learn more.
Sincerely,
Enclosures:
- VA Form 21-4138
- Changes in Your Enrollment
- Basic Rights
- If You Need Help
Sonnet, grade 6: 26 of 26 critical facts kept · grade 3.6
The judge found nothing lost.
The rewrite
Dear Mr. Okafor:
We are writing to you about a change in your school schedule. Your term started on September 1, 1996. Because of this change, we may have paid you too much money.
**What we know**
On November 5, 1996, you went from 12 credit hours to 6 credit hours.
**What we have done**
On December 1, 1996, we lowered your payment to $202.00 a month. We will send you another letter about this. That letter will tell you if you owe us money.
**What we need from you**
Please write to us and tell us why you lowered your credit hours. We usually need proof, too. If you don't have proof, tell us why you don't have it. The paper called "Changes in Your Enrollment" has more details. It is in the envelope with this letter.
**When we need it**
Please send us your statement and any proof within 30 days.
**What happens next**
*If we accept your reason:*
- We will not lower your payments back to the start of the term.
- If you already owe us money, you will still have to pay it back. But you will not owe more than that.
*If we do not accept your reason:*
- We will lower your payments starting September 1, 1996. That is the day your term began.
- This means you will owe us money. You will have to pay it back.
*If you do not answer in 30 days:*
- We will lower your payments starting September 1, 1996. That is the day your term began.
- This means you will owe us money. You will have to pay it back.
- You can still send us information after the 30 days. We will look at anything you send us within one year of the date on this letter.
- If you have a good reason you could not answer in that time, we may give you more time.
**Your rights**
You have certain rights before we make our final decision. The paper called "Basic Rights" explains them. It is in the envelope with this letter.
Sincerely,
Enclosures:
- VA Form 21-4138
- Changes in Your Enrollment
- Basic Rights
- If You Need Help
Opus, grade 6: 25 of 26 critical facts kept · grade 5.1
What the judge found lost or changed
- changed This applies only if the reader shows a good reason why they could not meet the one-year limit.
The letter: “if you show a good reason why you could not meet it” · The rewrite: “If you have a good reason for being late, we may give you more time.”
The rewrite
Dear Mr. Okafor:
We are writing to you because you changed how many classes you are taking. This change started in the school term that began on September 1, 1996. Because of this change, we may have paid you too much money.
**What We Know**
On November 5, 1996, you cut your classes from 12 credit hours to 6 credit hours.
**What We Did**
Starting December 1, 1996, we lowered your payments to $202.00 each month. We will send you another letter about this. That letter will tell you if you owe us money.
**What We Need From You**
Please write to us and tell us why you cut your credit hours. Most of the time, we also need proof, like papers or records, that show your reason is true. If you do not have proof, please tell us why. (To learn more, read the paper we sent with this letter called "Changes in Your Enrollment.")
**When We Need It**
Please send us your note and any proof within 30 days.
**What Will Happen Next**
- **If we accept your reason:** We will not go back and lower your payments from the start of the term. If you already owe us money, you must still pay it back. But the amount you owe will not go up.
- **If we do not accept your reason:** We will lower your payments starting September 1, 1996. That is the first day of the term. This means you will owe us money, and you must pay it back.
- **If you do not answer us within 30 days:** We will lower your payments starting September 1, 1996. This means you will owe us money, and you must pay it back. But you can still send us your reason up to one year from the date of this letter, and we will look at it. If you have a good reason for being late, we may give you more time.
**Your Rights**
You have rights before we make a final choice about your case. (To learn more, read the paper we sent with this letter called "Basic Rights.")
Sincerely,
**Papers We Sent With This Letter:**
- VA Form 21-4138 (a form you can use to write your reason)
- Changes in Your Enrollment
- Basic Rights
- If You Need Help
Sonnet, grade 4: 25 of 26 critical facts kept · grade 2.9
What the judge found lost or changed
- changed This applies only if the reader shows a good reason why they could not meet the one-year limit.
The letter: “if you show a good reason why you could not meet it” · The rewrite: “If you have a good reason for being late, we may give you more time.”
The rewrite
Dear Mr. Okafor:
This letter is about a change in your classes. The change started in the school term that began on September 1, 1996. Because of this change, we may have paid you too much money.
**What we know**
On November 5, 1996, you went from 12 credit hours to 6 credit hours.
**What we did**
On December 1, 1996, we lowered your payment. You now get $202.00 each month. We will send you another letter about this. That letter will tell you if you owe us money.
**What we need from you**
Please write to us and tell us why you dropped your credit hours. We usually need proof, too. If you do not have proof, tell us why you do not have it. Look at the paper called "Changes in Your Enrollment" for more help.
**When we need it**
Send us your letter and your proof within 30 days.
**What happens next**
If we accept your reason:
- We will not lower your payments back to the start of the term.
- If you already owe money, you will still have to pay it back. But you will not owe more.
If we do not accept your reason and proof:
- We will lower your payments back to September 1, 1996. That is the day the term began.
- This means you will owe us money. You will have to pay it back.
If you do not answer in 30 days:
- We will lower your payments back to September 1, 1996.
- This means you will owe us money. You will have to pay it back.
- You can still send us your reason after 30 days. We will look at it if we get it within one year of the date on this letter.
- If you have a good reason for being late, we may give you more time.
**Your rights**
You have rights before we make our final choice. Look at the paper called "Basic Rights" to learn more.
Sincerely,
Papers in this envelope:
- VA Form 21-4138
- Changes in Your Enrollment
- Basic Rights
- If You Need Help
Sonnet, grade 8: 25 of 26 critical facts kept · grade 4.1
What the judge found lost or changed
- changed VA may extend the one-year time limit.
The letter: “We may extend this time limit” · The rewrite: “We may give you more time if you show a good reason why you could not answer sooner.”
The rewrite
Dear Mr. Okafor:
We are writing about a change in your school enrollment. Your classes began on September 1, 1996. Because of this change, we may have paid you too much.
## What our records show
On November 5, 1996, you dropped from 12 credit hours to 6 credit hours.
## What we have done
On December 1, 1996, we lowered your payment to $202.00 a month. You will get another letter about this. It will tell you whether you owe us money.
## What we need from you
Please send us a statement that explains why you dropped your credit hours. In most cases, we also need proof that backs up what you say. If you don't have proof, please tell us why. (See the enclosed page called "Changes in Your Enrollment.")
## When we need it
Please send your statement and any proof within 30 days of the date on this letter.
## What happens next
**If we accept your statement:** We will not lower your payments back to the start of the term. If you already owe money, you still have to pay it back. But the amount will not go up.
**If we do not accept your statement and proof:** We will lower your payments back to September 1, 1996, the day the term began. This will create a debt, and you will have to pay it back.
**If you do not answer within 30 days:** We will also lower your payments back to September 1, 1996. This will create a debt, and you will have to pay it back. Even so, we will still look at any information you send us within one year of the date on this letter. We may give you more time if you show a good reason why you could not answer sooner.
## Your rights
You have basic rights before we make a final decision on your claim. (See the enclosed page called "Basic Rights.")
Sincerely,
Enclosures:
- VA Form 21-4138
- Changes in Your Enrollment
- Basic Rights
- If You Need Help
Sonnet, grade 6, 'keep everything' prompt: 26 of 26 critical facts kept · grade 4.4
The judge found nothing lost.
The rewrite
Dear Mr. Okafor:
We are writing about a change in your school enrollment. The change happened in the school term that started on September 1, 1996. Because of this change, we may have paid you more money than you should have gotten.
**What our records show**
On November 5, 1996, you dropped from 12 credit hours to 6 credit hours.
**What we have done so far**
On December 1, 1996, we lowered your payment to $202.00 each month. We will send you another letter about this change. That letter will tell you whether you owe us money.
**What we need from you**
Please send us a written statement that explains why you lowered your credit hours. In most cases, we also need proof to back up what you say. If you do not have proof, please tell us why you don't. The paper called "Changes in Your Enrollment" (in this envelope) has more information. We have also included VA Form 21-4138, which you can use for your statement.
**When we need it**
Send us your statement and any proof within 30 days.
**What we will do next**
*If we accept your statement:* We will not lower your payments back to the start of the term. If you already owe us money, you still have to pay it back. But the amount you owe will not go up.
*If we do not accept your statement and proof:* We will lower your payments back to September 1, 1996, the start of the term. This will create a debt, and you will have to pay it back.
*If you do not answer within 30 days:* We will lower your payments back to September 1, 1996, the start of the term. This will create a debt, and you will have to pay it back. We will do this even if you have not answered yet. But we will still look at anything you send us within one year of the date of this letter. If you have a good reason why you could not answer in time, we may give you more time.
**Your rights**
You have basic rights before we make our final decision on your claim. The paper called "Basic Rights" (in this envelope) explains them.
Sincerely,
**What is in this envelope:**
- VA Form 21-4138
- Changes in Your Enrollment
- Basic Rights
- If You Need Help (this paper explains how to contact us and get help)
Rewrite tool (Sonnet, grade 6): 26 of 26 critical facts kept · grade 4.0
The judge found nothing lost.
The rewrite
Dear Mr. Okafor:
This letter is about a change in your enrollment. The change happened during the term that began on September 1, 1996. Because of this change, we may have paid you more than you should have received. This is called an overpayment.
## What our records show
On November 5, 1996, you cut your credit hours from 12 hours to 6 hours.
## What we did
We lowered your payments to $202.00 per month. The lower payment started on December 1, 1996.
We will send you another letter about this change. That letter will show whether you have a debt.
## What we need from you
Please send us a statement. In it, tell us why you cut your credit hours.
In most cases, we also need evidence to back up your statement. If you do not have evidence, please tell us why.
To learn what kind of evidence we need, read the enclosure called "Changes in Your Enrollment."
## When we need it
Send your statement and any evidence **within 30 days**.
## What happens next
**If we accept your statement:**
- We will not lower your payments back to the start of the term.
- If a debt already exists, you must still pay it back. But the debt will not get bigger.
**If we do not accept your statement and evidence:**
- We will lower your payments as of September 1, 1996. That is the day the term began.
- This will create a debt. You must pay it back.
**If you do not answer within 30 days:**
- We will lower your payments as of September 1, 1996. That is the day the term began.
- This will create a debt. You must pay it back.
## You still have time to send information
Even if we take that step after 30 days, we will still look at what you send us. We will look at any information we get from you **within one year of the date of this letter**.
We may give you more time than one year. To get more time, you must show us a good reason why you could not meet the one-year limit.
## Your rights
You have basic rights before we make a final decision on your claim. To learn about them, read the enclosure called "Basic Rights."
Sincerely,
**Enclosures:**
- VA Form 21-4138 (use this form for your statement)
- Changes in Your Enrollment
- Basic Rights
- If You Need Help
The original letter
Highlighted: the passages behind the 26 critical facts.
Dear Mr. Okafor:
This letter is about the change in your enrollment during the period that began on September 1, 1996. Because of this change, we may have paid you more than you were due.
### What Our Records Show
You reduced your credit hours from 12 hours to 6 hours on November 5, 1996.
### What We Did
We reduced your payments on December 1, 1996 to $202.00 per month. You will receive another letter about this change. The letter will show if you have a debt.
### What We Need
Please send us a statement explaining why you reduced the number of your credit hours. In most cases, we require evidence to support your statement. If you do not have supporting evidence, please tell us why. (See the enclosure Changes in Your Enrollment.)
### When We Need It
Send us your statement with any supporting evidence within 30 days.
### What We Will Do
If we accept your statement, we will not reduce your payments from the beginning date of the term. If a debt has already been created it must be repaid, but the debt will not be increased.
If we do not accept your statement with supporting evidence we will reduce your payments on September 1, 1996, the beginning date of the term. This will create a debt which you must repay.
If you do not respond within 30 days, we will reduce your payments on September 1, 1996, the beginning date of the term. This will create a debt which you must repay. Although we will take this action, we will consider information received from you within one year from the date of this letter. (We may extend this time limit if you show a good reason why you could not meet it.)
### Your Rights
You have basic rights that are available to you before we make a final decision on your claim. (See the enclosure Basic Rights.)
Sincerely,
Enclosures:
VA Form 21-4138
Changes in Your Enrollment
Basic Rights
If You Need Help